April 3, 2004

Did you ever notice how trendy things seem to be?  I’m not just talking about high-school clothing (which is a topic unto itself), or the uncanny infatuation with behemoth SUVs, necessarily, but even with TV commercials.  I mused several months ago about how auto commercials would invariable show their car in some kind of wild side-spin, all the while proclaiming how their car was the best handling and safest.  Ironic, as I would like a car that is not prone to side spins.

In the 70s, the buzzword was “engineer”.  What I knew as a housewife was suddenly a domestic engineer.  Garbage collectors were sanitation engineers.  And just about any undesirable task that could be defined could be euphemized with the word “engineer” attached.

But my latest observation is with the use, or should I say, overuse of the word “system.”  For instance, we don’t have toilet brushes anymore; we have cleaning systems.  We don’t have motorized wheelchairs anymore; we have mobility systems.  We don’t even have beds anymore; they are sleep systems. 

So, if we take this argument to its logical end, we would not have schools, anymore; they would become education systems.  Our pots and pans become cooking systems.  Our light bulbs become illuminations systems.  And our fancy telephones become interactive-communication systems.

What about the next step?  Our kids would be monetary black-hole systems.  Our cats and dogs become companionship systems.  And our jobs become lifestyle-maintenance systems.

So, I have decided to stop using buzzwords.  Instead, I am going to use a new, sophisticated alternative to buzzwords.  I am going to use a buzzsystem.

Now, doesn’t that sound much more important and functional? 

Feel free to borrow my buzzsystem for yourself.  I am sure your friends will be just as impressed as you are.